stories....

i had a scare this week. for a moment, we thought aiko b. had bone cancer. turns out, it's arthritis. all in all not great. but much more manageable. so after going through a HUGE range of emotions and then coming back to center, i realized that my plans need to be hatched for writing our story. the tales, the travels, of star*seed and aiko traveling must be started. for years i've been forming and outlining, drafting it in my brain. the time to hesitate is through. while she is still in a body, i need to form the words.

this prompted me to open my ancient journal. way back when. when aiko b. and starseed took off and started searching. for what? life. 

back when things were simpler and more confused. 

from Missoula space time. Love Nugget. sometime, Dec. 2000:

"just saw Sister Carol and then walked home. just like that. i had no money and i was hoping that i could just get a ticket. a kick down. a miracle. whatev. it wasn't really like that though. and so Ali gave me her last 10 bucks and then went home to study for a psych. test. 

i felt a tap on my arm. it was Ali. she found 10 bucks on the ground outside! us and the 10 bucks, i tell yuh. it was beautiful though."

scouring the pages. the tales. the stories. the memories. my past becomes more shapely and clear. the colors. the textures. the weaves. hurling down highways. kickin' it. roots style. dirty, Phish kid style. babylon misfit style. odd, random, jovial, mysterious characters along the way. adventures to prove it. 

this journal ends as i head back to Indiana. for the first time. my first "trip out." seeing the sights and sounds of the country. discovering my tribe. my culture. my being. 

i enjoy myself. reading my old thoughts on paper is humorous. like a third person, i read. a same, yet separate, entity. i am, however, hilarious. ha.