Wednesday, May 14, 2008


krishna ringtones eh? has a nice ring to it.


this just in...


tonight the pixies of pixies arrived back into Houston. Juliett Jade has graced us with her presence after a seven month stint abroad. don't get too comfy, she'll be leaving again soon. perhaps to wisk off back to Turkey and re-join her blue eyed "boyfriend" in his cowboy cave or pick sun ripened grapes by the kilo or finish her studies at Mystery School in Italy. for now though, we are eager and joyful to be in her midst. there is a large fete in the works at the end of May (making up for the lack of New Year festivities months prior) in honour of JJ's arrival and Miss. Prekerrious's departure on to new and more exciting adventures. (think: vernacularly mastered evites from jade, amazing buffet tables of raw edible delights, goji berry juice in fancy glasses, all the freaks Houston can muster up as well as those who consider themselves on the less freaky side, madd spinning poi and fire streaks in the night sky, unpredictable sights and sounds. drums? amazingly random playlists? karaoke into the wee hours of the morn?)
we sat on Kerry's plush bed tonight, doting on Jade. massaging her hands and feet, feeding her fresh fruit and calling upon the Goddess cards. she recited some of the many tales of her latest journeys and told us each about our Turkish boyfriends. Jade declares that the young blue eyed fruit farmer, named Timur, who sells figs and nuts from his roadside stand and wears a tall, red fez (with style) is waiting for me eagerly. his cousin, Ahmet, ardently awaits Kerry's arrival. and Ankah, perhaps, the hot air ballon driver that she met at the "Fat Boy" bar in town. a trip to Turkey is in the works. figs, after all,  are my favorite fruit.
there's a small tribe of pixies, faeries and elves in Houston. we work magic and heal. we hold the space for the city and keep the Vortex lively. it's gettin' hip down here!

more from the famous Jade:

think.



there are many reasons we should be questioning this and other sites. what are the motives? who is really overseeing the data that we put on the internet? facebook, myspace, blogsites.....it's all there.


Tuesday, May 13, 2008

"By all means be selfish; the right way. Wish yourself well, labour at what is good for you. Destroy all that stands between you and happiness. Be all; love all; be happy; make happy. No happiness is greater."

"Fear and greed cause the misuse of the mind. The right use of mind is in the service of love, of life, of truth, of beauty."

"If you imagine yourself as separate from the the world, the world will appear as separate from you and you will experience desire and fear. I do not see the world as separate from me and so there is nothing for me to desire, or fear."

"Were I very rich, what difference would it make? I am what I am. What else can I be? I am neither rich nor poor, I am myself."

"Knowledge gives power. In practice it is very simple. To control yourself, know yourself."

"There is no chaos in the world, except the chaos which your mind creates."
-Nisargadatta Maharaj

mosquitos, death and other things.

viral warfare is back. in fact, it never left. forget MK ultra. forget dropping balloons of virus infected mosquitos on African American neighborhoods. forget about spraying unsuspecting citizens on the New Jersey Turnpike with unknown viruses as they drive to work everyday. forget it. 

we live in a toxic world. one in which there is a disregard for life. all life. 

all life. including my own. i live in Babylon. in case i had recently forgotten.

with that toxic fog spewing out of it's spout, the truck slowly drives down each street again and again spraying a fine mist of toxic chemies that apparently kills mosquitos- and anything else that might get in its way. they call it the Bug Truck. there is something about the low drone of the Death Truck (as i properly refer to it), a haunting hum really, that sends me to pasts lives of mine where i was in the gas chambers knowing it was all coming to an end. really soon. other fatal memories collide with that one and then things get hazy. i choke. i am trapped in fear and mental chaos. government retaliation and distrust are thrown into the mix. these are not sweet, pastoral memories. 

you never know when it will come. they don't tell you. how convenient. 

tonight as i was walking with my dogs, that all too familiar sound approached. i panicked. clearly we were going to get sprayed. walking down the street. unknown, unidentified chemicals sprayed on us. all in the name of killing mosquitos. that is bad enough. but the fact that i don't know if that is what is really happening, is actually worse. 

this is chemical warfare. blatant chemical warfare. and the citizens are down with it because they are trapped in a mental fear game. a fear of mosquitos. they will blindly trust their local authorities to spray known carcinogens into the dead night air for fear of contracting West Nile Virus or something worse perhaps. 

freaks i tell you. freaks. they are all freaks.

but when you speak out against these blatant chemical attacks, you  become the freak. 

irony. 

so occasionally when i am nonchalantly ambling down the street in the early evenings with my dogs, i will get "nixed." wormy gassed. attacked with noxious vapors. i am part of their experiment. i am part of this life experiment. and we have no clue what could happen next. 

(additional info. thanks to several calls and more unanswered questions. two of the chemicals sprayed regularly are known. they are Kontrol 33 and Voulgart. thanks.)

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Lord, I am happy this morning,
Birds and angels sing and I am exultant.
The universe and our hearts are open to your grace.
I feel my body and give thanks.
The sun burns my skin and I thank you.
The breakers are rolling toward the seashore,
The sea foam splashes our house.
I give thanks.
Lord, I rejoice in your creation, and that you are behind it, and before, and next to it, and above -- and within us.

-My Joys Mount as Do The Birds (Ghana)

i'm saving the planet- what are you doing?

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

accept a miracle.

“To live in a way that our own life would enhance the lives of others is a radical concept, as it gets to the very root of how happiness comes about. If we want to be happy, we do what we can to bring others happiness, not suffering. Yogis by nature are radical; not content to live superficial lives, but instead they enjoy diving into root causes.”

Sharon Gannon, November 2007

www.animalmukti.org

no body likes an eight second ride. buck the rodeo.
-PETA  campaign

Monday, May 5, 2008

those were the days when i was speeding around the country, hopping from Phish to Further to Phil and Friends, slingin'  Thai spicy noodles and my patchwork dresses. we ate ganja goo balls the size of our fists for lunch and washed 'em down with dark oatie stouts. the days when the hot, midday sun turned my nose pink and i'd stick one finger up in the air asking for a miracle while standing on top of a cooler in the middle of Shakedown. when i was known as Starseed and was accompanied by my sidekick animal companion Aiko B. as we raged it on Lot. when i started my journey of freedom and my locks got nappier and nappier. when i peddled my wears, got schooled in street smarts, and learned the meanings of shwilly, shwagg and laggin' wagon. when we rolled deep in vans named "The Mother Ship" and "Stella Blue" with eight people deep and at least four dogs on top of us. when i realized i could trust my luck, my manifestation powers and the unknown.  
we were tired, we just didn't know it yet.
there will come soft rains and the smell of the ground,
and swallows circling with their shimmering sound,
and frogs in pools singing at night,
and wild plum trees in tremulous white.
robins will wear their feathery fire,
whistling whims on a low fence wire,
and not one will know of the war.
not one will care when it is done.
not one would mind, neither bird nor tree,
and spring herself, when she woke at dawn
would scarcely know that we were gone.
-sara teasdale

Sunday, May 4, 2008




14kt gold filled wrap hoops.

power in thought. strength in numbers.
the best of both worlds: renunciate and householder. same time. same life. 
pure mastery through nadum....Obvious World. creative commons. kruu fm.
check it.

http://www.kruufm.com/station/archives/20

big ups to matt ahearn. a fellow sound junkie and master of the dials.

25,000 Dockworkers Shut Down West Coast Ports in Historic Antiwar Protest

In the largest labor strike since the invasion of Iraq, ports along the West Coast—all twenty-nine of them—were shut down as some 25,000 dockworkers went on a one-day strike to protest the war.

http://www.democracynow.org/2008/5/2/25_000_dockworkers_shut_down_west


Friday, May 2, 2008

ahimsa


http://compassioncampaign.earthsave.ca/5/

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Enlightenment cannot be attained, nor forced.
It can only happen.
It can appear only when it is given
a vacant space to appear in.

           -Nisargadatta 

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

"see if you qualify for a life experience degree."
Ha! they have to ask?!
shock*RA

Monday, April 28, 2008

"Run my dear from anything that may not strengthen your precious budding wings. Run like hell my dear from anyone likely to put a sharp knife into the sacred tender vision of your beautiful heart."


Hafiz

mental chatter.

it's the yogi mind 
in action.
non action.
no reaction.
just satisfaction.
filled with delight.
do right.
outta sight.
live light.
alright.
your karma is your destiny to freedom.
and freedom is your destiny to become.
liberation of this cosmic temple.
way beyond just mental. potential.
this cosmic body
spittin' image of the cosmic galaxies.
downpression the biggest fallacy.
planets get in your head.
control where your thoughts are led.
you got energies and chakras.
nadis and koshas.
it has been said.
don't be fooled,
these are the tools.
of Totality.
reality.
beyond fatality.
get outta the mental drain.
clear out the brain.
beyond the thoughts, words and actions.
the chitta vritties and mind chatter.
none of it matters.
use them as ladders.
extend your soul till you are full.
extend your soul till you are full.
"We must get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." 

-Quote from the late Joseph Campbell
zen shouts!

mangal and ketu yagyas. strawberry rhubarb pie. 
a combination for livity.

Sunday, April 27, 2008

the travels.

arcata. goodbye to the redwood tree. fall. 2000.

one last apple from arcata. the kind that fills you up. perfect specimen. the days of frolicking amongst the mist and redwoods is over. found a sanctuary. found a spot. found a happy, friendly tree to share with others. to meet again. 
amazing things happen when you just aren't expecting them. 
i had a slow day yesterday. left the tree late. functioned at my own pace. and i still managed to get things accomplished. casually asking for rides up north. sitting in the Plaza getting written up a fake ticket about the dogs (convinced it's a fake ticket and therefor not fretting....the "cop" doesn't even have ligit info....) when what to my wondering eyes should appear, but Fenucci sitting on a stoop. and a ride up north to Seattle which happens to be going to the very Widespread show that i need to get to! yahoo! 
i love when that happens.
i should just trust the fact that inevitably positivity will pull through. (you just question- will it go the way i'd hoped?)
but now i find myself in Ephrata, WA while this bro Jeff takes care of his court date. no real worries. just hoping Amber and the kids make it to Seattle safely. yahoo.
Fenucci and these bros are funny. i guess you just have to get to know them. if they let you....

(i have a higher appreciation and love for the bwois in that ride now. maybe it was my blissful state and maybe it's just those bwois. their smiles of farewell, Will's hug and "you're a kind and beautiful sister," Jeff's nonchalance yet twinkle, Fenucci being suave Fenucci. they WERE funny! and then, the court scene....)

so now safely to Seattle, a beautiful miracle all over. miracled a ticket into the show. found Amber. found her kids. long drum set. night of dancing. then made it safely all the way to Missoula. now i'm baking cookies and kickin' it at the Love Nugget  full of thankfullness and love. 
Amber is planning her trip to Hawaii. they got the van together. everything is fine. i'm staying with Ali. i brought her a taste of "home." i hope to lift her spirits. Ali lives across from Alex- who brought me here from Seattle. (it's all a tangled web.) i met Cheris, Ali's roommate, at the WSP show. Cheris is Ali's friend from highschool! Amber knows all the kids at the Nugget. completely tangled. 
now i'm checking out jobs and feeling out my feelings. i'm not sure how long i want to be where or for what or for how long or with whom or for what reasons or what not. ya ya ya. but i'm on track. i'm going to get food stamps and hopefully medicaid and get my shit together. something to be proud of. but for now the kindness and generosity in this town is making me feel love. (i think i walked its perimeter today!) let's see what manifests.....


rise up today.

take this precious moment and wake up the mind and liberate the souls.
create the fiyah that will move you to Being.
love your self and radiate your truths.
be who you truly are.
spread these words.
become your future.
today.
there is no more time. 
to sit. 
to judge.
to falter.
hesitate no further.
act in righteousness 
and you are this.
talk with love and poetry on your lips 
and life will be this.
end your violence.
become peace.
unify the mind.
unify the world.

you Being

you are the pure expression of all the love that radiates from my heart, my mind, my Being.
you just be.ing, brings fullness to my Being.

stories....

i had a scare this week. for a moment, we thought aiko b. had bone cancer. turns out, it's arthritis. all in all not great. but much more manageable. so after going through a HUGE range of emotions and then coming back to center, i realized that my plans need to be hatched for writing our story. the tales, the travels, of star*seed and aiko traveling must be started. for years i've been forming and outlining, drafting it in my brain. the time to hesitate is through. while she is still in a body, i need to form the words.

this prompted me to open my ancient journal. way back when. when aiko b. and starseed took off and started searching. for what? life. 
back when things were simpler and more confused. 

from Missoula space time. Love Nugget. sometime, Dec. 2000:

"just saw Sister Carol and then walked home. just like that. i had no money and i was hoping that i could just get a ticket. a kick down. a miracle. whatev. it wasn't really like that though. and so Ali gave me her last 10 bucks and then went home to study for a psych. test. 

i felt a tap on my arm. it was Ali. she found 10 bucks on the ground outside! us and the 10 bucks, i tell yuh. it was beautiful though."

scouring the pages. the tales. the stories. the memories. my past becomes more shapely and clear. the colors. the textures. the weaves. hurling down highways. kickin' it. roots style. dirty, Phish kid style. babylon misfit style. odd, random, jovial, mysterious characters along the way. adventures to prove it. 

this journal ends as i head back to Indiana. for the first time. my first "trip out." seeing the sights and sounds of the country. discovering my tribe. my culture. my being. 

i enjoy myself. reading my old thoughts on paper is humorous. like a third person, i read. a same, yet separate, entity. i am, however, hilarious. ha.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

sell out.

ok. so i sold out and now have ads on my blog site. their are reasons why. and for the most part, all the ads have been for things that i'm interested in. (hmmm. coincidence? i think not.) then there is the occasional ad for christian rhetoric like "the rapture" etc. THAT is just wierd. and if it continues, i'll be getting rid of this whole bumbaclot bidness. well, maybe i'll make a buck or two. and if i don't. buh bye.



star*seed and aiko traveling...

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

repost.

*Increase and widen your desires till nothing but reality can fulfil
them. It is not desire that is wrong, but its narrowness and smallness.
Desire is devotion. By all means be devoted to the real , the infinite, 
the eternal heart of being. Your longing to be happy is there. Why?
Because you love yourself. By all means, love yourself - wisely. What is
wrong is to love yourself stupidly, so as to make yourself suffer. Love 
yourself wisely. Both indulgence and austerity have the same purpose in
view - to make you happy. Indulgence is the stupid way, austerity is the
wise way. Once you have gone through an experience, not to go through it 
again is austerity. To eschew the unnecessary is austerity. Not to
anticipate pleasure or pain is austerity. Having things under control at
all times is austerity. Desire by itself is not wrong. It is the choices 
that you make that are wrong. To imagine that some little thing - food,
sex, power, fame - will make you happy is to deceive yourself. Only
something as vast and deep as your real self can make you truly and
lastingly happy.*
Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj
little whispers as i walk by.
a smile so slight you're left guessing.
my inner Rocky Horror Picture Show running through my mind.
still these days it's better.
same thoughts. less reaction.
like it's been overplayed. 
and already on the radio.
i could care. 
but thankfully i don't.
i'm too busy not to notice the breakdowns occurring.
i'm too absorbed in living to take out time for thoughts.
i'm too ingenious to play fucked up games.
that hurt my head. my heart. my....

the planets have moved into Scorpio 
and life is heating up.
i sweat just thinking about....

let them speak a little louder next time.
so i can blatantly ignore.
instead of pretending still that my Third Eye is not so clear.
i'll beam some light out and shoot them in the hearts.

if the rumors keep on following me 
maybe i'll start owning them
or turn them into soap operas
so they can watch their own words.

i'll break a few more hearts and send them home
and sit in bed with my sliced peaches and honey
and sip a bit o' tea.
and start this whole damn poem all over again.
my feet are my shoes.
i walk the earth one step at a time.
with my my soles.
with my souls.

spokenword. old school shit. II

natty congo roots.
unbrushed locks.
untamed. clean. and wild to perfection.

see what you see.
hear what you hear.
fear what you fear...

i'm sick of being judged
by your anger, fear and lies.
take off the disguise and realize.

i resent your christian misinformation.
how you were raised on disintegration.
Babylon's walls and yuh whitey mind
gunna go down with yuh capatalist kind.

just because you don't overstand me
don't give you no right to hate and command me.
your lives are in a state of deterioration
and it ain't like you got more right to procreation.
your whitey izm has you in a headlock.
but i stand firm with fiyah and natty congo lock.

face the fiyah that burn in my eye.
i rise in Jah sky like a fuckin' phoenix.
my poetry comes cool like the beatnicks.
to remind, unwind, design, align
and remaster.
remove disaster.

move through the past.
fast forward to the present.
this is a future watch.

no matter who you are.
no matter where you come.
no matter.
we're all headed in the same direction....


spokenword. old school shit. II

yeah, you saw what you saw.
i live by the Universal Law.
i don't bend to adversity,
nor was i schooled in your university.

you'll feel the span of emotion
just through my devotion,
of the highest, the flyest, 
the evolutionists, the revolutionists,
the futurists, the linguistics, 
the freedom fighters, the fiyah lighters.

we the crew comin' through
liftin' the dark cloud
the evil crowd
to a higher plane of existence. 
no resistance.

don't slow my intention
or bombard me with anger retention.
you can't stop the flow 
you got no choice but to grow
and rise
and realize
evolution be inevitable.
all else is regrettable.

your pollutions
bring our solutions.
and make the people rally
by the masses
the intelligence surpasses
your illusory actions.
then Nature comes with her reaction:
Wham
Slam
Damn!

you realize we ain't foolin'
we schoolin'
the Natural Rule,
and it hurts sometimes.
but read between the lines
and look to past times.
feel the truth in my rhymes.
and get up. 
stand up.
live it.
love it.
be it.

love yuh long time.

ok. the pony ride is over. when you awake to your Higher Self, let me know. then we'll talk.....

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

the flight of the alone to the alone.
-plotinous
i went to the tax guy today. i left with a new glimpse of my Self. some new sense.... 
i realize that i let my self live unpredictably. i know i change my mind a lot. i know i wear extremely bright colors. i know i howl at the moon and that is rare. i know i make nearly no money- not enough to really file. 
i know all this. and i don't care.
i love myself. 
in overtly ridiculous ways.
he said i seemed like a "nice and interesting person." he wanted to help me out. someday he knew i'd walk into his office with a gross earned income of over $100,000 or more. then i'd need him, and he'd be glad. he would wait for that day and help me out in the meantime. nice to have confidence from strangers.
though i don't have much to show for it, i'm  glad i teach yoga, that i volunteer my time, that i continue to change my mind, that i move a lot, that i wear what i want and say what i think. i am proud to be me. all funky and shit.
off to my next job. a weekly pro bono class at Lee Highschool. the only return i get out of this is the joy of others. when the government realizes that this is truly wealth, i'll be f*'n rich. 
good thing i already am.

wake up to Nothing.
wake up to Being.
awake and dreaming.
sleeping in the past.

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Monday, April 7, 2008

i now release everything and everyone who is no longer a part of the Divine Plan for my life.
everything and everyone who is no longer part of the Divine Plan of my life, now release me.

Sunday, March 30, 2008

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

....the last thing i remember was the hideous smell of brisket floating up through the floorboards....it's that deepest kind of rest. the kind where you are in another dimensional state. that kind where fire-alarms go off in your house and you don't ever hear it. the kind where you re-emerge: changed. bright. new. seeing technicolor. neons. and bright bursts of color. life becomes a Peter Max poster. serendipitous moments to follow....
it's like nothing else on earth. samadhi. samadhi for a reason.
SHOCK*ra

Sunday, March 16, 2008

i sleep in red wood trees.
i lick the stars.
i use any word i want.
i have my own dictionary.
i count coins by twos.
i run with scissors and knives.
i am indigo and crystal.
i always exceed the speed limit.
i get rock star parking.
i dance naked in the day light.
i spin golden fire.
i am a local celebrity. everywhere i go.
i wear bracelets bigger than Texas.
i have three nicknames.
i write songs and sing them in the shower.
i play magical instruments.
i walk with two, large wolves at my side.
i have imaginary tattoos.
i leave trails of glitter.
i know my secrets.
i know yours.
i create my own reality. 
i change my mind. 
i am the universe.
i am the Rebel Rishi

they call me Swati Jr....
Ganesha is my co-pilot.

Friday, March 14, 2008

It's all coming back now...

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

where: the Engine Room houston, tx

when: sat. march 8th @ 1:oo am

what: Swati Jr., Ankah and Love Warrior will be firin' up the poi 

why: in conjunction with A Thousand Cranes audible pleasures of course!

we are stardust. we are golden. we are billion year old carbon. heading back to the garden.....

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

THE SUN IN DRAG   
You are the Sun in drag.
You are God hiding from yourself.
Remove all the "mine" - that is the veil.
Why ever worry about
Anything?
Listen to what your friend Hafiz
Knows for certain:
The appearance of this world
Is a Magi's brilliant trick, though its affairs are
Nothing to nothing.
You are a divine elephant with amnesia
Trying to live in an ant 
Hole.
Sweetheart, O sweetheart
You are God in
Drag!

-Hafiz

Friday, February 22, 2008

Thursday, February 21, 2008

sanyasi meets cyndi lauper....working on  balance.

Monday, February 11, 2008

fire starter.


poi. now added to my repertoire and favorite past times. 
trance dance avec flamme... 
super lush.






samadhi junkie. help...

helicopters flinging massive amounts of flowers to the earth....hordes of people gathered in gratitude. hearts are full, words are few.....
"bolo, shri Raam jai Raam, jai jai Raam...." 
 gratitude doesn't express much... he is powerful and present. 
more so than ever before. 
absorbed in the deep, deep silence.


Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Here's the Lord's invitation to humankind:  Enter into the Kingdom of Heaven through the path of action or through the path of renunciation of action. Make your choice. 

B.G. Verse 29 commentary by MMY p.380

Jai Guru Dev

Progress.

Well all we are looking at now kids is a background check. Then my after school yoga programme at Lee High School is a full on go. It's times like this when I'm really glad that all the crazy shit that i've done in my 27 years of existence hasn't left a "permanent" legal record. Whew! 
I am really hoping to leave a legacy behind when I leave Houston in the fall, ensuring that yoga will be in place at this school no matter what. These kids deserve positive tools for their future. These are the one's who need it the most. These are the one's that we need to give light to and remind how to shine even when it feels really dark. These are the ones who the government has purposefully forgotten and chooses to ignore. These are the ones I'm grateful to serve. Namaste.

Future Acro-Yoga Stars of America!



Saturday, February 2, 2008

Friday, February 1, 2008

it needs to be THAT amazing.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

...and yet another shooting star...

Thursday, January 24, 2008

note to universe:
let's clarify. i do NOT look like cynthia nixon. thanks.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Monday, January 21, 2008

Now Is The Time


Now is the time to know
That all that you do is sacred.

Now, why not consider
A lasting truce with yourself and God.

Now is the time to understand
That all your ideas of right and wrong
Were just a child¹s training wheels 
To be laid aside
When you finally live with veracity
And love.

Hafiz is a divine envoy
Whom the Beloved
Has written a holy message upon.

My dear, please tell me,
Why do you still
Throw sticks at your heart 
And God?

What is it in that sweet voice inside
That incites you to fear?

Now is the time for the world to know
That every thought and action is sacred.

This is the time
For you to deeply compute the impossibility 
That there is anything
But Grace.

Now is the season to know
That everything you do
Is sacred.

-Hafiz

where it's at.

http://current.com/watch/21116927

Saturday, January 19, 2008

an IT moment. a big one.

highschool is one of those places you couldn't pay me to go back to. even if lots of money were involved. i still have battle scars and refuse to discuss the intimate details. i finally knew what hell meant thanks to Terre Haute North Vigo en le state of Indiana. F'n Hoosiers.....anyhoo, i digress.
today, i went back to highschool!! i was asked to teach yoga to several groups of freshman today at Lee Highschool off of Hillcroft and Richmond. it is a title one school. you know the type: little to no funding, low test scores, 60% or more drop out before they graduate, most are from broken homes, drug and alcohol addicted families and have little to no support from family or friends. and of course they are mostly "minorities." things are rough.
i totally didn't know what to expect. (i've found having no expectations to often be best.) most had never heard of yoga before let alone tadasana or namaste. but they loved it! the response was overwhelming. seeing these wild 14 year olds walk into the room and leave in a calmer, more neutral space, was so rewarding. feeling a glimpse of peace, the peace that is always inside, for the first time, was startling to some of them. like they'd never felt it before. never known how to extract it. and there it was. all along.
we did five postures. by far, the bare minimum. and yet it worked. something worked. (their short attention spans couldn't handle much more anyway.) by sivasana, they were puddy in my hands. it was like buddaah.
i was asked later by one of the school teachers if i'd had "mark" in one of my groups. (a latino boy who has been in more trouble than most would be in an entire life. who has a troubled home life and the whole works.) oh yeah, i did. he didn't appear to be "trouble maker" to me at all. he sat so silently. i saw some tears in his eyes when he sat up from sivasana. his eyes were closed. he was peaceful. i saw him as i left the building later today. i praised him highly and reminded him of his inner awareness. his silence. he got it.
another student, a large girl with wild, kinky hair pulled back tight, had an emotional breakthrough as well. i complimented her on her pronunciation of "tadasana." it was as if she'd never been complimented like that before. she beamed. in childpose, she looked up at me, her eyes red and teary, and smiled. i knew she was thankful.
then there was trey. a handsome, flashy, well-dressed type. black baseball cap cocked to the side. his downward dogs were difficult and strained. and his tadasana was lacking the strength and purpose of a mountain. i whispered " roll your shoulders back. open your heart. lift your head. be proud and stand tall." i had to tell him twice. then it stuck. after class, i chatted with him. looking him in the eyes i reminded him of his dignity, his strength and how to show that with his posture. he got it.
i think the most amazing realization for these kids is that this is a tool they can use. and get results. it is silent time for them. and only them. the strength of a mountain, the flexibility of a dog, the happiness of a baby; it's all inside of you. we just have to be reminded sometimes. we have to wake it up.
even if it was a seed that was planted that ends up not getting watered for many years or lifetimes to come, i feel honored to be involved in the process. i am feeling a renewed sense of purpose in my life. i've found my niche (ok one of them atleast. but it's a big one.) and it's all starting to make sense now.

...with a kabaHb...

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

enter retro sani...

Sunday, January 6, 2008

the date. the dive bar. the bloody altercation.

i will keep it short and simple. relay the tale briefly. stacey and i went on a date last night for a belated bday celebration. she suggested the wine dive off of studemont. ironically, we have both sworn off the bevies for 2008. however, max and his wine dive are notorious for their chicken and dumplings and crazy ass desserts. we had a long day. it was late. we were hungry. we stopped by. the conversation was insightful. the company, delightful. the setting, loud and intoxicated. after devouring the dessert that our waiter declared was "on the house," the evening took a startling and swift turn. in all my crazy experiences, i've seen nothing similar. think: bad movie fight scene. horrible western bar brawl. blood and obliteration....one minute i am declaring my future desires to stacey. the next, there is a man falling on our table getting the shit beat out of him. the table is destroyed and stacey gets pinned under it in the booth. i jump out of my seat with quick reaction time. when i realize there is stacey to save, i return to the table to pull her out. there are still punches being thrown. by this time, the man being beaten is unresponsive. i think he might be dead. but try not to look. others slowly respond by leaving the scene. the cops and ambulance arrive. there is blood and crushed glass everywhere. i grab my purse from the table and we jet......

Saturday, January 5, 2008



One hour of solid, crucial sound. Cut, pasted, spliced, diced, faded, sampled and

mixed up. It's a mean and nasty medley folks. Dial it.

**Warning: some rules have been broken....

Latest music news from JA sprinkled throughout, thanks to IrieFm.

Bless up! Live UP!

www.kruufm.com....audiostream Crucial Roots every Sunday noon-1:00pm